The Practical No-Nonsense Guide to Meditation

If you’ve thought about starting a meditation practice or tried to meditate and gave up, then this is the article for you. I went from being a left-brained business-minded attorney to a right-brained healer with meditation being my bridge. However, when I first started attempting to meditate, I found it extremely frustrating. That is, if I was able to sit there more than 10 minutes without my back hurting or my legs falling asleep. What most people do not realize is that meditation is an art. And all arts take practice. Saying that “I just can’t meditate” or “meditation doesn’t come natural for me” is like saying “I can’t draw” or “I have no artistic talent.” Sure, there are those people who are naturals at drawing, painting, playing a musical instrument, but most artists have learned techniques and practiced them over and over. They have practiced their art. And so it is with meditation. It takes practice.

You may ask why then should I put in the time to practice this art? Countless studies have shown that meditation has both short- and long-term benefits to brain structure and function. Specifically, the insula which connects the emotional center and thinking center, along with the amygdala, which is tied to the fight-or-flight impulses, actually change in form. Thus, meditators are more aware of what’s going on in their environment and thus more in control of their responses. Translation: People who meditate deal with stress much better and thus have fewer stress-related illnesses. Changing brain structure certainly does not happen overnight. It happens gradually over time after much practice.

Once you’ve made a decision to start practicing meditation, the first step is to designate a space. For tips on setting up a meditation space in your home, read 4 Steps to Create Your Personal Sanctuary. Having a designated space is, in my opinion, crucial. Ask any artist. They will tell you that a designated space to paint, write, cook, etc. is a necessity. The size of the space is not important, but privacy is. If you are unable to close off the space, then using a decorative screen to create a boundary is an option.

The next step is how to sit. This may seem pretty straight-forward unless and until you’ve tried it. Sitting cross-legged on a meditation cushion or folded yoga blanket(s) is the most common “seat” for meditation. If you find that your back starts to hurt, then start out sitting against a wall or in an upright chair. If you can sit cross-legged with not much problem, I would recommend using a meditation cushion to prevent your legs from losing circulation and falling asleep. For me, I had been doing yoga for years which is a great preparation for meditation. (In fact, yoga was originally used for preparing for yoga by the ancient yogis.) Even so, it took me about 6 months until I could sit for 30 minutes without my back hurting. There are “meditation muscles” in your back that most likely have been dormant. So make as many adjustments as you need. You don’t need to sit like a monk in Tibet. But you do want your spine upright.

Once you have your space with a comfortable sitting position, the next step is the actual meditation. For any first-time meditator I recommend to start out listening to a guided meditation or meditation music using headphones (the bigger the better). Headphones not only help block out noises but create an inward world where it’s just you. In other words, your attention turns from the external world to your internal world. There are countless options for guided meditation. I am particularly picky about the guide’s voice and my personal preference is Deepak Chopra. So before you purchase something, listen to a sample to make sure you find the voice soothing and not annoying. As for meditation music, I prefer the technological entrainments that help balance the right and left brain. Anything with sudden noises, such as birds, cricket and thunder, I find very disruptive.

Whether you use a guided meditation, music, or go it alone with silence, the most important tip I can share is contrary to what any meditation source will tell you: For the first 5 minutes, let your mind run wild! Let it go wherever it wants. Set it free. Instead of fighting it, just let it go. Your mind will feel like wild horses having been cooped up for years. Free them. You’ll be amazed at what might come up. For me, I might recall a dream I had the night before, remember that I was supposed to call someone, or think about what I want to do that day. Once you’ve given your mind 5 minutes to basically flood itself (use a timer if you feel like you might get carried away), start to rein it in. And then start to quieten your mind. It will not be nearly as resistant now.

From here, bringing your focus to your breath is a good starting place. For the breath is always there in repetition. Counting breaths can be very effective, i.e. Inhale One, Exhale One, Inhale Two, Exhale Two. Start out trying to do this for ten counts without thinking about anything else. Sound easy? Give it a try. You may be surprised. Once you can make it to ten, do it to twenty, and so on. You are controlling the mind instead of the mind controlling you. This is the part of meditation that will take the most practice. It’s the golf swing of meditation. Not thinking about anything!

Each time you can quieten the mind, it will be easier the next time. Let it gradually build up over time. For example, you may start out for 10 minutes the first week; 15 minutes the next week; and so forth. Set reasonable goals. Don’t expect to be a master after one week or even one month. It took me well over a year before I got to a place I felt comfortable with, which for me was sitting in meditation blissfully for 30-45 minutes. The work that you put into your practice will be mirrored in your daily life. You will automatically start living more and more in the present moment. And then one day when your mind is completely quiet, you realize through a deep and profound feeling of knowingness that you are not your mind, but spirit. And this, in my opinion, is the most important benefit of yoga.

photo by Alicepopkorn.