Being Happy: How Not to Love Stuff

 

The following is a repost from the blog of Life Optimizer…Thank you!  I couldn’t agree more and I couldn’t have said it better… especially around the holidays!

Do you want to live a happy life? I’ve written before about being happy, but here I want to take a different angle and look at one important cause of unhappiness: loving stuff. Many people try to fill the void within them by buying more and more things they don’t need. When new gadgets come out, they buy them. When their friend has a new car, they want it too.

But why does it happen? Why do people love stuff? The reason is they believe it will make them happy. They believe the more stuff they have, the happier they will be. Is that true?

The answer is no. Perhaps they think they are happy, but they can actually be much happier if they do it differently. This isn’t just my opinion; scientific research supports it. I will discuss it more thoroughly below, but first let’s see some disadvantages of loving stuff:

1. It makes your life cluttered. Each thing you have consumes not only your physical space but also your mental space. Acquiring one more thing means having one more thing to worry about.
2. It creates wasteful spending. Buying stuff you don’t need means spending your money unnecessarily. Wouldn’t it be better if you spend it on something that’s truly useful and meaningful?
3. It promotes materialistic point of view. The more you love stuff, the more you send the wrong message to the world. The message you’re sending is that stuff can give you happiness. As a result, more and more people around you will fall into it.
4. It isn’t a good way to make you happy. There are better ways for that. More about it below.

So what should we do? Here are some tips on how not to love stuff:

1. Realize the negative side of stuff

When you realize the negative side of stuff (as discussed above), you will think twice before introducing more clutter into your life.

2. Realize that experiences – not stuff – contribute more to happiness

Instead of buying stuff, use your money to buy experiences. Research shows that experiences contribute more to happiness:

Another theme that has emerged in similar research is that money spent on experiences – vacations or theater tickets or meals out – makes you happier than money spent on material goods… “We generally found very consistent evidence that experiences made people happier than material possessions they had invested in,” says Van Boven.

3. Avoid impulse buying

Impulse buying is one of the main causes of acquiring too much stuff. This is something I learn firsthand. Since I love reading, I used to buy a lot of books. And guess what? Many of them end up unread. Realizing this, in recent years I become more careful when it comes to buying books. I only buy books that I’m sure I will read.

The way I avoid impulse buying is by first putting the item I want to buy into a wish list. I then wait for at least one month and see if I still want to buy it. In many cases, an item could stay in my wish list for months before I buy it.

4. Think ROI

ROI (return on investment) is a useful concept to help you minimize the number of stuff in your life. When you buy something, think of it as an investment. The question is: can you get good return on your investment? The return here isn’t financial. It’s the overall value you get from the stuff. Will it make your life considerably better? Will it give you long-term happiness? Invest your money only on things that give you good ROI.

5. Give

Giving is the ultimate way to both avoid loving stuff and make you happier. Research clearly shows the power of giving:

First, they surveyed 632 Americans on their general happiness, along with what they spent their money on, and found that higher “prosocial spending” – gifts for others and donations to charity – was indeed correlated with higher self-reported happiness. They followed this up with a more detailed look at 16 workers before and after they received a profit-sharing bonus from their company. They found that the only factor that reliably predicted which workers would be happy six to eight weeks after the bonus was their prosocial spending – the more money people spent on charity and gifts for others, the happier they were.

The conclusion of the research is clear:

Money makes you most happy if you don’t spend it on yourself.

Mind Body Om Featured in At Home TN

Nashville interior designer Tisha Morris doesn’t just concentrate on making a home look good. As a certified Feng Shui consultant, she also ensures that a home feels good by apply her knowledge of the ancient Eastern custom and more traditional interior design.  click here for more>>

8 Ways to Bring in Abundance (Without Spending a Dime!)

With so much uncertainty in our economy, many people are turning to alternative ways to make money. Many are embracing their creative talents, while others are trying new marketing techniques. Ultimately, we are all being asked to change the way we do things and to become more creative in how we work and relate to others. If you look around at businesses right now – from restaurants to personal services — they are either failing or thriving. What is the secret behind those that are thriving?

I recently read the book, Think and Grow Rich, by Napolean Hill where he reports his findings of the secret behind the 500 most successful people, including Andrew Carnegie. Keep in mind: This book was written in 1937 during a similar economic downturn. What he found to be the commonality in all of their success was nothing that you would read in a business manual. Instead, it was the mental and emotional energy that each of these successful projected out.

Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are projecting your future through your conscious and subconscious thoughts. Thus, the best way to bring in abundance is exactly this way.  Here are eight ways to use your energy positively to bring about wealth and properity:

1. Helping Others

If you have ever been around really successful people (and by “successful” I mean prosperous in wealth and happiness), then you will quickly notice that they are always happy and willing to help others with their business. Many people think that to succeed, you must be competitive when, in fact, the opposite is true (even towards your “competitors”). Someone who is competitive and cut-throat is simply saying that they don’t trust in their own skills and talents.

If you are willing to help someone promote their business, they will do the same for you. In other words, what you put out you will get back in return. This principle has really been put to use in the new social networking world of Twitter. It is an example of the more you help others, the more you will receive in return.

There are so many ways in which we can help and encourage others. Here are some examples: a simple compliment, such as “Your ad in the paper looked great” or “I love your website”, making positive comments on others’ blog posts, offering others resources that were helpful to you, volunteering your services for free to a good cause, referring people, and being a patron of other people’s services. Helping others says that you are confident in yourself…and not to mention nice!

1. Gratitude
   

Being grateful for what you already have is the Number One way to bring in more of it. Say “Thank You” to yourself, others, mentors, angels, God, Universe, Source, and/or whoever you believe is a part of what has helped you to get and achieve what you have thus far. By doing so, more will come your way. This is essentially a high vibration affirmation.

1. Being Present
   

Living in the present moment is a phrase often used by those seeking a more zen way of life and/or enlightenment. But it is also a really great business practice. Your power is always in the present moment. When you align yourself with the present moment you have complete and total access to your own power. By “power” I mean your best skills, talents, and creativity. It is only when we look into the future that we become stressed, anxious, and fearful. For all that is meant for us to deal with in the present moment is just that…the present moment.

Because it is each small step (or moment) along our journey that makes up our life, the destination will only be as good as each of the moments that it encompasses. Eckhart Tolle profoundly describes this concept in A New Earth as follows:

“Everybody’s life really consists of small things. Greatness is a mental abstraction and a favorite fantasy of the ego. The paradox is that the foundation for greatness is honoring the small things of the present moment instead of pursuing the idea of greatness. The present moment is always small in the sense that it is always simple, but concealed within it lies the greatest power.”

So, try being present in each moment of your day, from sending emails to talking to prospective clients. You will be amazed at how much better your focus and productivity is.

1. Use Feng Shui
   

Many may think that the ancient Chinese practice of Feng Shui is only used in Eastern cultures, but major U.S. businesses and business executives such Donald Trump are applying its 3,000-year-old principles in their daily business dealings.

By simply rearranging your office space, you are energizing your business in a new way. The shifts of earth energy in conjunction with your own mental intention can change your business quickly and dramatically. The position and arrangement of your desk can make a profound impact. Read my article, Feng Shui Your Desk, for more information.

And for businesses with a store-front, feng shui can make the difference between attracting customers and deterring them. Simply do a google search for a wealth of free information.

1. Affirmations
   

An affirmation is a set of positive words or phrases repeated out loud, to yourself, or just set out in visual sight. The more the affirmation is repeated consecutively and over time, the more the subconscious is being programmed to believe it. For example, if you repeat an affirmation such as, “I attract abundance in all areas of my life,” your subconscious mind will take it as truth (as it has no filter) and the law of attraction will begin to bring you abundance.
You could consciously want more money, but your subconscious mind may be working on a different agenda, potentially sabotaged by old belief systems, implanted societal fear, or simple unworthiness. This is why it is so important to be conscious of our subconscious.

Using affirmations is a great way to re-program the subconscious mind to be more in alignment with what you consciously want in your life. The amount of time it takes will depend on how engrained the current belief system being re-programmed is in your subconscious.

For specific affirmations for abundance, read my article, 8 Affirmations for Abundance.

1. Being Receptive
   

We are often our own worst enemy. As much as we would like to blame others or the economy, the truth is we oftentimes just get in our own way. Many of us have belief systems that prevent us from abundance. For example, some believe that they don’t deserve abundance, that wealth is only reserved for certain people, or that money is the root of all evil. If you consciously choose to have any of these belief systems, then so be it. But some of you may unconsciously have these thoughts while, at the same time, confused as to why money isn’t coming your way.

So explore to see what belief systems you have surrounding money. You may be surprised. In order to receive, your must be open. For a clinched fist will never be able to receive anything. And don’t forget to be present… for something to fall into your lap, you must be still.

Also be open to where the sources of abundance may come. While your energies may be in one direction, the fruits of your labor may return to you from another direction. Be open. Be receptive. And, again, be present.

1. Make a Vision Board
   

A vision board is a powerful visualization tool that activates the Law of Attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality. The concept of the vision board, also known as a goal board or treasure map, has been around for generations, but has gained a renewed interest and popularity from the documentary, The Secret.

A vision board is a visual collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life. To make one, simply get a poster, cardboard, or foam board, magazines, glue and/or tape, scissors, and a desire. Cut out images either exact or symbolic representations of the things that you want in your life or the things that you want to become. Paste them on your board and display it, preferably somewhere visible to you. In no time, you will be amazed at what you will attract into your life!

1. Use the Number “8″
   

It is no coincidence that I used the number “8″ for this article. Numbers are one of the oldest symbols in our collective conscious. Each number carries its own meaning, frequency, and energy. The number “8″ is the number for abundance.

In Numerology, anytime you have double or triple digits, add them up until you come to a single digit. For example, 107 = 8; 44 = 8, and 800 = 8. So take advantage of this built-in power. Incorporate it into your life. For example, price your services or products using this auspicious number. I even once lived in an 8-house that made me lots of money when I sold it. Be creative with it!

Conclusion

If you are not bringing in as much wealth and prosperity as you would like, then try incorporating some of these concepts into your daily practice. Sometimes there is no need to spend a fortune on advertising or expensive classes. Invest in your own personal power first. Afterall, you are your most important asset.

The Practical No-Nonsense Guide to Meditation

If you’ve thought about starting a meditation practice or tried to meditate and gave up, then this is the article for you. I went from being a left-brained business-minded attorney to a right-brained healer with meditation being my bridge. However, when I first started attempting to meditate, I found it extremely frustrating. That is, if I was able to sit there more than 10 minutes without my back hurting or my legs falling asleep. What most people do not realize is that meditation is an art. And all arts take practice. Saying that “I just can’t meditate” or “meditation doesn’t come natural for me” is like saying “I can’t draw” or “I have no artistic talent.” Sure, there are those people who are naturals at drawing, painting, playing a musical instrument, but most artists have learned techniques and practiced them over and over. They have practiced their art. And so it is with meditation. It takes practice.

You may ask why then should I put in the time to practice this art? Countless studies have shown that meditation has both short- and long-term benefits to brain structure and function. Specifically, the insula which connects the emotional center and thinking center, along with the amygdala, which is tied to the fight-or-flight impulses, actually change in form. Thus, meditators are more aware of what’s going on in their environment and thus more in control of their responses. Translation: People who meditate deal with stress much better and thus have fewer stress-related illnesses. Changing brain structure certainly does not happen overnight. It happens gradually over time after much practice.

Once you’ve made a decision to start practicing meditation, the first step is to designate a space. For tips on setting up a meditation space in your home, read 4 Steps to Create Your Personal Sanctuary. Having a designated space is, in my opinion, crucial. Ask any artist. They will tell you that a designated space to paint, write, cook, etc. is a necessity. The size of the space is not important, but privacy is. If you are unable to close off the space, then using a decorative screen to create a boundary is an option.

The next step is how to sit. This may seem pretty straight-forward unless and until you’ve tried it. Sitting cross-legged on a meditation cushion or folded yoga blanket(s) is the most common “seat” for meditation. If you find that your back starts to hurt, then start out sitting against a wall or in an upright chair. If you can sit cross-legged with not much problem, I would recommend using a meditation cushion to prevent your legs from losing circulation and falling asleep. For me, I had been doing yoga for years which is a great preparation for meditation. (In fact, yoga was originally used for preparing for yoga by the ancient yogis.) Even so, it took me about 6 months until I could sit for 30 minutes without my back hurting. There are “meditation muscles” in your back that most likely have been dormant. So make as many adjustments as you need. You don’t need to sit like a monk in Tibet. But you do want your spine upright.

Once you have your space with a comfortable sitting position, the next step is the actual meditation. For any first-time meditator I recommend to start out listening to a guided meditation or meditation music using headphones (the bigger the better). Headphones not only help block out noises but create an inward world where it’s just you. In other words, your attention turns from the external world to your internal world. There are countless options for guided meditation. I am particularly picky about the guide’s voice and my personal preference is Deepak Chopra. So before you purchase something, listen to a sample to make sure you find the voice soothing and not annoying. As for meditation music, I prefer the technological entrainments that help balance the right and left brain. Anything with sudden noises, such as birds, cricket and thunder, I find very disruptive.

Whether you use a guided meditation, music, or go it alone with silence, the most important tip I can share is contrary to what any meditation source will tell you: For the first 5 minutes, let your mind run wild! Let it go wherever it wants. Set it free. Instead of fighting it, just let it go. Your mind will feel like wild horses having been cooped up for years. Free them. You’ll be amazed at what might come up. For me, I might recall a dream I had the night before, remember that I was supposed to call someone, or think about what I want to do that day. Once you’ve given your mind 5 minutes to basically flood itself (use a timer if you feel like you might get carried away), start to rein it in. And then start to quieten your mind. It will not be nearly as resistant now.

From here, bringing your focus to your breath is a good starting place. For the breath is always there in repetition. Counting breaths can be very effective, i.e. Inhale One, Exhale One, Inhale Two, Exhale Two. Start out trying to do this for ten counts without thinking about anything else. Sound easy? Give it a try. You may be surprised. Once you can make it to ten, do it to twenty, and so on. You are controlling the mind instead of the mind controlling you. This is the part of meditation that will take the most practice. It’s the golf swing of meditation. Not thinking about anything!

Each time you can quieten the mind, it will be easier the next time. Let it gradually build up over time. For example, you may start out for 10 minutes the first week; 15 minutes the next week; and so forth. Set reasonable goals. Don’t expect to be a master after one week or even one month. It took me well over a year before I got to a place I felt comfortable with, which for me was sitting in meditation blissfully for 30-45 minutes. The work that you put into your practice will be mirrored in your daily life. You will automatically start living more and more in the present moment. And then one day when your mind is completely quiet, you realize through a deep and profound feeling of knowingness that you are not your mind, but spirit. And this, in my opinion, is the most important benefit of yoga.

photo by Alicepopkorn.

Feng Shui Your Desk

Do you feel like your career is in a rut? Or perhaps a raise or promotion is long overdue. Maybe your enthusiasm for your job is at an all-time low. Then it’s time to take action and…rearrange your desk? That’s right. By consciously changing the arrangement of your desk, you are shifting energy that can directly impact your job. While it is advisable to feng shui the entire office, you can simply start with your desk.
Paper Clutter. One of the first rules of feng shui to use on a desk is to clean up the space. Clear out all papers that are not necessary and organize those that are. It is often said in feng shui that, “The clutter of the room and the clutter of the soul are intrinsically linked.” If one’s work area is full of clutter, then they will more than likely work slower and have a lower productivity. Keeping papers and pens neat on a desk can ensure that a person can work quickly and effectively. Everything should have its own space — this includes your desktop and the floor around your desk. To cut down on paper clutter, incorporate files, trays, drawers, bins, etc. At least 50 percent of your desktop should be seen throughout the day. Empty space is good. This allows for a clearer, open mind for thinking and creativity.

Desk Location. The location of the desk in the room is also an important consideration. The ‘power’ position of a desk is facing the door. This is especially important for offices in which people come in and out. Having your back to the door puts one in a psychologically vulnerable position. If this is not possible due to computer cords or other logistics, then the next best would be to have the desk at an “L” to the door. If there is a window in the office, then having the desk face the door and window would be optimal even if it is at an “L” to either the door and/or window.

Once you have your desk situated and all of your papers decluttered and organized, then the next step is what to put on your desk. The Bagua Map which is most often used on the footprint of a home can also be applied to any space, including a desk. The Bagua Map is made up of 9 quadrants just like a tic-tac-toe box and is divided accordingly:

Career: The space right in front of you — the center, front square of the tic-tac-toe box represents your career. This is a definite section to keep clutter-free. The element is water and the color is black. If you’ve got a glass top, try slipping an inspiring picture, quote, or affirmation that signifies what you want in your career. You can always just tape it underneath so that it’s not in plain view. As long as you know it’s there, that’s all that matters.

Wisdom: The front, left corner is the wisdom area. Helpful feng shui items to place here are books, anything you are studying and learning, or anything representing higher knowledge or wise people. Blue is the associated color for this area. Any drawers in this area are also included.

Family: The center left-hand side of the desk is reserved for family. This is a great place to put family photos. Wood is the associated element, so wood frames would be great. And green is the color for this area in case you have anything green on your desk.

Wealth & Prosperity: Heading clockwise around the desk, the upper, left-hand corner is the prosperity area. A well-run computer works well in this area or you can use something that reminds you of wealth and riches. It’s also a great spot for a healthy plant, perhaps a bamboo plant. If you have an “in box” you can place it here to represent money coming in. Purple is a great color for this area if you’ve got any lying around.

Fame & Reputation: It is no wonder that the most common spot to place business cards or a name placard is the same spot for Fame and Reputation. The center back one ninth of the desk is the place to let people know who you are. (This is another reason why you want your desk facing the door!) Red is the best color for this area. And since fire is the element, a candle or desk light would work here as well.

Love & Relationships: The right-hand rear part of your desk is the Relationship corner. This can be used to attract a new relationship or to spice up an existing one. Enhance this area with pink, a picture of your significant other, or maybe a bowl of Hershey’s kisses?

Creativity and Children: Now we’re at the mid right-hand side of the desk. Got kids? Put them here, preferably in metal frame this time. Or use this space for items, books, or anything that spurs your creativity. Yellow and white are the associated colors.

Helpful People and Travel: This section is the right-hand, center area of your desk and is associated with the color “gray”. It is a great place to keep your address book, iphone, or rolodex. You can also place your accounts receivable list here so the money comes in on time.

Health: The only place on your desk that we haven’t covered yet is the center square. This area governs your physical health and balance. Like the home, I advise keeping this area clear so that the chi energy can easily reach all areas on your desk.

So, you may be thinking, “wow, that seems like a lot of stuff on my desk when you said to keep it clutter-free.” And, yes, I would agree. First and foremost, keep the desk clutter-free. Secondly, choose which areas of the Bagua Map you would like to enhance and focus on those sections. Then, you can always use the bottom of the desk and drawers to finish out the Bagua Map. The most important thing to remember is to have an intention with each section as you go along AND to have fun doing it.

Doing Less | Being More

 

It seems like lately everything I read stresses the importance of ‘being’.  What used to be words of only the enlightened masters has crept into all areas, including the business world.   The “do, do, do” mentality of the 80s and 90s has become “be, be, be” of the 2000s. 

 

 

While I can sit and ‘be’ with the best of them, my practical, attorney side eventually rears its head saying, “with all this ‘being’, how do you ever get anything done?”  And so I pondered this question.

 

 

 On an energetic level, ‘doing’ is an active, masculine energy, while ‘being’ is a passive, feminine energy.  Ultimately it is a balance (yin/yang) of these two energies that is optimal.  As a society, we are needing to balance as a whole and thus more feminine energies are permeating up from Mother Earth. 

 

Putting the energy stuff aside for a second, I started to think back at all of the most pivotal times in my life… people, jobs, and situations.  I realized all of them just came to me or fell into my lap as opposed to my seeking it out. 

 

Afterall, it is only when you are ‘being’ still that something can fall into your lap.”  

 Here is a personal example. Read more